Introduction

 

When it comes to parenting, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. However, helicopter parenting is a parenting style that has been getting a lot of attention in recent years. Parents these days become highly involved and take too much responsibility for their kid's actions and make decisions on behalf of them. Helicopter parents are overprotective which has several negative outcomes for children. In this blog, we will discuss helicopter parenting, its causes, and its effects in detail.

 

What is helicopter parenting? 

Let's start with understanding the concept of helicopter parenting. The term helicopter parent was first used in the book Generation X by Douglas Coupland. It is a metaphor used to describe parents always hovering around their children and constantly monitoring them. This parenting style is also sometimes referred to as over-conscious parenting or helicoptering.

This term can be used to describe a parent who is overinvolved in their child's life. Parents of this kind are usually very protective of their children and try to control every aspect of their lives. They often make decisions for their children without consulting them.  They have a tendency to micromanage their children's lives.

Causes of helicopter parenting 

Helicopter parenting mostly has a negative effect on children. The cause can vary, but usually, it results from the parent wanting to protect their child from harm or failure. In some cases, helicopter parenting may be due to the parent's childhood experiences or fears.

Here are the common tendencies that helicopter parents have:

1) Parents might project their failures or insecurities on their children.

In most cases, helicopter parents have high expectations from their little ones because they want them to achieve success on those aspects where the parent might have failed to achieve. These parents put a lot of pressure on their children to meet these expectations, which can make the child feel overwhelmed and stressed.

 

2) The parents were raised in a strict and controlled environment.

Parents raised in very strict and controlled environments are more likely to be helicopter parents to their children.  They tend to control the choices and interests of their little ones by intimidating them.

3) The parents need to feel needed.

Some helicopter parents intimidate because they need to feel their presence in their kid’s life. They might not have a lot going on in their own lives, and so they put all of their focus on their children. It can cause the child to feel suffocated and like they are never doing anything right.

4) The parents become control freaks.

Some helicopter parents are control freaks. They want to control everything that their child does. They don't want their child to make any mistakes. It can cause a lot of stress for both the parent and the child. It is not healthy for the child to never take any decisions for themselves.

5) The parents are afraid of letting go.

Some helicopter parents are afraid of letting things go. They feel like if they let their child out of their sight for even a minute, something bad will happen. This obsession can cause the child to feel suffocated and make them feel like they can never do anything independently.

6) The parent is a perfectionist.

Some helicopter parents are perfectionists. They want their child to be perfect in everything they do. It can put a lot of pressure on the child and make them feel like they can never live up to the parent's expectations. It leads to the child feeling like they are not good enough and the little ones start questioning their self-worth

The effect of helicopter parenting 

Here is the list of helicopter parenting's effects on the child.

1) The child will have trouble making friends.

If a child becomes habitual to the presence of their parents always being there, they may start lacking social skills which further causes them trouble making friends. The child will constantly look to the parent for guidance and approval, making it difficult to form friendships. Helicopter parents try to manage their child’s social circle. This tendency is not good for the holistic development of the child.

2) The child will have difficulty transitioning to adulthood.

Helicopter parenting can make the transition from childhood to adulthood difficult because the child has not had the opportunity to learn how to be independent. It can lead to the child feeling lost and confused when they have to make their own decisions.

4) The child will become overly dependent on the parent.

If a child is helicopter parented, they may become overly dependent on the parent because they have not had the chance to learn how to do things independently. It can make it difficult for the child when they try to move away from home as they constantly feel homesick. This trait can even ruin their chance to form new relationships or social circles.

Advice from Sparklebox.School

If you are a helicopter parent, it is important to try to step back now. This toxic trait of parents can ruin the chance for their child to do things independently. 

Here is some advice for helicopter parents:

• Try to let your child take risks. It will help them learn and grow.
• Encourage your child to try new things. Helicopter parenting can make it difficult for a child to explore their interests.
• Talk to your child about helicopter parenting and explain why you are doing it. It will help your child understand your actions and hopefully make them more receptive to what you are doing.
• Make sure you are still spending time with your child. Just because you are helicopter parenting does not mean you must be helicoptering all the time. Make sure you take breaks and spend time as a family doing things everyone enjoys.
• Ensure that you are helicoptering for the right reasons. Helicoptering should not be done out of fear or because you think your child is not capable. It should be done out of love and to help your child grow and develop.
• Be prepared to adjust your parenting style as your child grows older. As your child becomes more independent, you must adjust your helicopter parenting accordingly.
• If required, step back and let your child take the lead. Helicoptering does not mean you have to do everything for your child. If they can do something on their own, allow them to try.

Conclusion

Parenting is difficult, and there is no right way to do it. You might feel hard to accept that helicopter parenting is toxic for your child’s holistic development. If you helicopter too much, your child might not be able to develop the skills they need to be independent. Finding a balance that works for you and your family is important.

You can also read 

Life skills to teach your kid by age of 10

How can you support the holistic development of children

10 signs to identify Psychological abuse in children

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