As a parent, discipline is an essential part of being a loving and caring role model. Unfortunately, discipline can also be one of the most challenging parts of parenting for many parents. It's easy to get frustrated or angry when you discipline kids, but it's not okay to let emotions take over and say things that you'll regret later on. Here are 7 things not to say if you want to discipline kids in a way that will help them grow into respectful adults!
What are the benefits of disciplining children?
Discipline kids witness success in the future! When young children are raised in a household that practices discipline and self-control, they learn to control their emotions as they get older. In return, kids will feel safe around others because discipline gives them the confidence to know when certain behaviours are appropriate or not.
Why discipline children?
There are many reasons parents choose to discipline kids. Because it's essential for a child's development, it teaches consequences when misbehaving and protects other people from harm caused by another person's actions (including the disciplining parent themselves). Parents should be willing to step away from any temptation not punish their kids if they've done something wrong!
What 'could' happen if you discipline your child?
When parents let their anger take over during disciplinary situations with their children, it can lead to some very serious consequences. So remember, stay calm! Not only does it teach your child that being angry is an okay way of expressing themselves (which isn't what we want!), but it also displays poor role modelling, which leaves our little ones confused on how they should act around others.
How do you discipline kids?
It varies depending on your parenting style, discipline method, and the kid's age. If you're unsure where to begin or what discipline to approach, you'll need first to know what not to do. Here are 7 phrases you should never use if you want to discipline kids.
1. 'I'm disappointed in you.'
We all make mistakes sometimes, including parents as well as their kids. Disciplining a little one after they've done something wrong is more effective if there isn't any judgment attached to it. Make sure not to let them see that you are upset because this can lead to an argument instead of resolving the issue at hand! Save yourself some time and energy by avoiding saying 'I'm disappointed in'. Instead, try 'You did this, and this is why it was wrong'.
2. 'I don't know how you were brought up, but ...'
When we discipline kids, there are times where they might be stubborn or insist that what they've done is correct. This can lead us to use phrases such as 'Well, I wasn't raised like that', which will only start a fight between the two of you, making it harder for your little one to understand any reasoning behind the discipline! Instead, try saying something along the lines of 'Based on my knowledge..'. It'll give them room for their thoughts while also helping them learn more about you.
3. 'Be strong.'
Telling kids to stay strong when disciplining them doesn't make much sense because everyone is strong, and discipline is a part of life's journey. It'll make your child feel like you're putting them into an unrealistic situation that they will never be able to succeed in, which can lead to low self-esteem later on.
4. 'You should know this by now.'
This phrase makes kids think that parents have been waiting for their kids to grow up so one day they would become mature enough to discipline - but what if it takes longer than expected? Saying something along the lines of 'I'm not sure why...' or 'Can we try again?' helps express any doubts about whether or not your little one understands the problem at hand (by using 'we') while also allowing them to realize where they went wrong (by using 'again').
5. 'Why can't you be more like your sister?'
There's nothing wrong with having high expectations, but this phrase only encourages kids to compare themselves to their siblings - or anyone else in any context for that matter. Making them feel as though they are not good enough does no one any favours at all. Instead, try something along the lines of 'I know it's hard work...' so they learn discipline by seeing how much effort goes into a task and then reward them once it's completed if necessary.
6. 'You're just lazy!'
This is another way of saying that the parent thinks their child has no motivation whatsoever, making them unmotivated towards whatever discipline they are trying. Instead, positively discipline them by telling them how much effort it takes to do specific tasks. Also, make sure to reward them for their discipline when they succeed in whatever discipline you are trying.
7. 'I'd rather clean up myself!'
Doing everything yourself defeats the purpose (pun intended) entirely, besides making your house look cluttered and messy. You have to discipline them so they know how to clean up after themselves when the time comes, which is why you shouldn't push off your responsibilities onto others because it defeats discipline entirely in doing that.
In conclusion, discipline is a long and challenging road - but it's well worth the outcome. Don't discipline kids with physical violence, but discipline them by teaching them what they need to learn for the future.